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Redeeming Dean Forester
For over a month now, you guys have been pushing Dean off a cliff and while I admit I was the first in line, I’ve been thinking it over and, well… let’s all just take a moment and see if we can’t help breathe some love back into his poor broken carcass.
Through the series, Dean Forester suffered. From the start, he honestly loved and fought for Rory and had her, for a short, sweet while. Sure, he wasn’t always the most talkative, often preferring to communicate with his fists more than Tristan or Logan or Jess.
But he was eloquent enough to say ‘I love you’ and he was good with his hands (by which I mean he built a car, for goodness’ sake get your minds out of the gutter) and he really did love Rory. He took her to that stupid debutante ball, faced off against Tristan and put up with Lorelai’s tall jokes. He eventually won Lorelai over but was powerless to hold onto her against grumpy old Jess. Remember hearing his heart break, sitting on Lorelai’s porch?
Dean She likes Jess, doesn’t she? s02e18 Back In The Saddle Again
And then it still took twelve episodes to get to this, at Dean’s window when Rory tried to make their break-up OK:
Rory I just came to tell you that I’m truly sorry that I hurt you, and that I’m going to miss you so much and I just hope that someday you won’t hate me anymore. Dean I hope so too. s03e08 Let The Games Begin
It was like she’d kicked a puppy.
Then Round Two: beginning with his spectacular fall from grace. A culmination of factors – getting married too young when he was in love with somebody else probably didn’t help – led to Rory and Dean trying again and sadly losing her again, this time to Logan… or was it Logan?
The way I see it, it wasn’t Logan that split Rory and Dean: it was Dean. Listen to the last words we ever hear from him, bitterly comparing Luke’s blossoming relationship with Lorelai to his own failed experience with Rory:
Dean They want more than this. Don’t you see that? And all you are is this. Luke Rory was a kid, Dean. She grew up. She moved on. Accept it. Dean You accept it. This town, it’s all you are, and it’s not enough. She’s going to get bored, and you can’t take her anywhere. You’re here forever. Luke It’s different. Dean It’s not different. You and me. Same thing. s05e18 To Live and Let Diorama
One moment while I find my shrink’s cardigan but this sounds an awful lot like a projection of low self-esteem: he’s projecting his own feelings about himself and Rory, onto Luke. Dean blames himself for him and Rory not working out, because he doesn’t think he’s good enough: he feels uninteresting, trapped in a small town and that nothing’s going to change. Dean’s clinically depressed. Is that really a surprise, considering he’s making ends meet by lifting Taylor’s cannonballs?
On the bright side, a couple of years later I posit that he’s started to find himself again, that cheeky boy who constantly needs a haircut. He’s moved out to the Boston suburbs, managing a Toys R Us. He’s made some good friends, plays Xbox in the evenings and is still a little tentative around long term relationships, but he’s getting there. This assumes none of you lot are loitering next time he’s near a cliff.
When was Dean at his best?
Was Dean good enough for Rory?
Why did he marry Lindsay when he was still in love with Rory?
Can Dean be redeemed?
