Have Yourself a Very Gilmore Christmas
Let your heart be light
If there ever is a Gilmore Girls movie, it has to include a Christmas.
Picture Lorelai and Rory - and two boyfriends of your own choosing - warming their toes in front of an open fire, cracking wise about Rudolf and roasting chestnuts and reminising about their Christmases we never saw.
Taylor and Kirk pass by as carollers, arguing the factual correctness of Little Donkey. A sick Santa emergency requires someone to step in and save the day… It’d be great.
Still.
In seven years of Gilmore Girls, we never saw an actual Christmas Day. But there were a couple of near misses, from which we may divine some precious Gilmore tips on how to handle Christmas. After all, Christmas is largely about family and Gilmore Girls was about little else.
In season one, we saw Stars Hollow a couple of weeks before the big day and in season seven, Lorelai postpones Christmas until Rory’s return from London. Class is in session, pay attention at the back.
Presents
- Don’t waste energy on picky people
Lorelai And I got cologne for Michel and the same cologne for my mother. Rory Weird. Lorelai Well, they’ll both hate whatever I give them so I figured, why spend time picking out doomed gifts? s07e11 Santa’s Secret Stuff
- Look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you
Lane Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume? Rory Yeah. Lane OK to me that said, ‘Hey mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy’. Now to my mother, it said ‘Hey mom, here’s some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with’ and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer. s01e10 Forgiveness and Stuff
Christmas Dinner
- Avoid family arguments by not inviting them
Emily I am tired of forcing you to do all those terrible things that infringe upon your life and I do not have the energy to pretend that the way you treated my the other day was in any way acceptable. Lorelai So you’re uninviting me to Christmas dinner? s01e10 Forgiveness and Stuff
(Note: beware of karma. During the meal, Richard faints and ends up in hospital. Likely one too many apple tarts.)
- Feed appropriately
Luke Hey, how’s your dad? Lorelai Better, though he says that life is not life unless it includes a steak. Rory The coffee machine was jammed so I got us some chicken soup and some Pez. s01e10 Forgiveness and Stuff
Make your own traditions
Six trees are better than one - for a buck a piece. And mistletoe should be taped to a ceiling fan.
Rory That way, the kissing is more like a sport. s07e11 Santa’s Secret Stuff
My top Christmas tradition is watching A Muppet Family Christmas, from before the incomparable Jim Henson passed away. Properly anarchic; original yet touching.
How about you? Any Christmas Gilmore traditions?
Hey State-side, is Candy Cane coffee a real thing?
And while I remember, does anyone have a good eggnog recipe? I tried it one year and ended up with bits of omelette floating in hot milk. Gross.
Though it’s been said many times, many ways – Merry Christmas to you, my extended Gilmore kin, wherever in the world you are.
Keep your toes warm and Be Good. See you next year x